A Greek, An Indian and a Jew Get Into an Elevator...

Recently Archie asked me what S&M meant in Rihanna's hit song by the same name.  Normally I'd be as flustered as any other parent confronted with a similar question from their six year old child, but thanks to something that happened to me 15 years ago I had an answer ready.

In 1996 I was working for an insurance company in Newark.  The job wasn't anything great but it was a fun work environment: lots of young, fun-loving and weird people with plenty of idle time on their hands.  One day I got on a down elevator with two co-workers.  One was Sanjay (not real name), an Indian male in his late 20's who worked in IT.  The other was Hercules (real name), a Greek guy who bore a strong resemblance to John Belushi until he opened his mouth.  Not only was Hercules not the funniest guy around, he was pretty weird to boot.  Every once in a while he'd come by my desk and ask me "should I do it?  Should I do it?"  No intro.  Invariably I'd give him a puzzled look, get no further explanation, and reluctantly reply "go for it man, go for it."  That was pretty much all I knew about Herc.

So it's Sanjay, Hercules and me on the elevator.  Hercules immediately starts packing his Marlboro Lights against his arm: PACK-PACK-PACK-PACK-PACK.  I never understood that move.  Sanjay is in the other corner, and he cannot keep his head up.  I asked him if he was okay.

"Oh I am so tired, so very tired!" he said.

Herc leveled his gaze at Sanjay.  "What you need," PACK-PACK-PACK, "is a little R," PACK-PACK-PACK, "and R," he said.

Sanjay was puzzled.  "Tell me," he asked, "what is R and R?"

Hercules had the voice of a late night FM radio jockey.  "A little Rest,"  PACK-PACK-PACK, "and Relaxation."  Sanjay beamed, took pleasure in Hercules' mellifluous flow.

I got involved. "You could probably also use some S&M."

Immediately Sanjay exclaimed. "Aha!  Sweets and Money!"

Hercules never looked at me, only at Sanjay.   "I'll explain later."

First floor.   PACK-PACK-PACK.